As I mentioned in my previous post, feeling the pain is a great way to deal with difficult emotions, but what can you do when feeling the pain doesn’t work?
Learning to be Happy is an ongoing lesson and in particular I have realised that it’s okay not to be okay. I still experience periods of depression; usually they pass very quickly but occasionally they linger.
Sometimes the emotions are so painful I have even considered suicide. I don’t want to die, I just want the pain to stop.
I have experienced feelings of depression on and off over the last few months. It’s no wonder that my emotions are still coming into balance. I was on anti-depressants for 26 years!
A few weeks ago, I started to feel better after having a healing and seeing my homeopath. I had an aha moment when I realised I had fallen into the trap of not just feeling the pain, but dwelling on it. I had become stuck in a pattern of talking and thinking about being depressed. I had to focus on what I want instead of focusing on what I don’t want, I had to change my story.
As well as my regular Happiness practices such as my Buddhist chanting, Tapping and meditation, there are three particular techniques I find helpful to avoid getting sucked into a vortex of negativity and I share them in this post. Remember though, it’s important to allow ourselves to feel the pain before we use other Happiness techniques. I find it can be a tricky balancing act.
It turns out there is light at the end of the tunnel. For a while there I thought there was no hope. I must admit, since I came off my anti-depressants it has been a struggle and yet from what I read, I’ve had it easy compared to others in the same boat.
It’s been a few weeks since I posted. I’ve had a challenging time. I must admit I’ve been feeling quite low since coming off my anti-depressants. My businesses are not going as well as I would like. My finances are shocking. I’ve had to take a job in a call centre on minimum wage. I have felt like a failure. I have felt as though the hope has run out. As if the light at the end of the tunnel has been extinguished.
I keep catching myself telling this story to myself and others and to a certain extent I know I’m wallowing in self-pity. After one particular evening where I’d been telling my ‘woe is me’ story to anyone who would listen, I realised that I need to change my story or as Abraham Hicks would say ‘Get off the subject’. I wrote about this back in 2013 in my post How to Get What You Want – Change the Subject and five years later in 2018, it seems I am still learning the same lesson.
Where shall I start? Well, since coming off my medication it has been a rocky ride. I’ve had a few knock backs and sometimes it feels as if everything is going wrong at the same time. I feel as though I keep getting knocked down, get back up, dust myself down, only to get knocked down again. I still keep getting up though.
As you may know I’ve been weaning off my anti-depressants since the latter part of 2017. I’ve been on them for 26 years – since I was 17! I’ve tried to come off them many times before and each time I had a relapse. I had a relapse this time as I mentioned in my previous post Coming off the meds (again!). The difference is I was able to work through my feelings using my toolbox of Happiness techniques. I continued to cut down the meds and I took my final dose a couple of weeks ago. I must admit I’m feeling pretty chuffed and proud of myself. Continue reading “Life after anti-depressants”
I’ve been on anti-depressants for over 25 years! I’m currently weaning myself off them. Every time I’ve tried to come off them before I’ve had a relapse, as you may know from my previous posts. This time I was, and am, determined to stick with it and work through any feelings that come up. I know that negativity is bound to come up as the medication has been suppressing my feelings for such a long time. Continue reading “Coming off the meds (again!)”