As I mentioned in my previous post, feeling the pain is a great way to deal with difficult emotions, but what can you do when feeling the pain doesn’t work?

I still experience periods of depression. Usually, they pass quickly, but occasionally they linger.

Sometimes the emotions were so painful I had even considered suicide. But the truth is, I didn’t want to die, I just wanted the pain to stop. During one period of depression, I had an “aha” moment when I realised I had fallen into the trap of not just feeling the pain but dwelling on it. I had become stuck in a pattern of thinking and talking about being depressed. I had to focus on what I wanted instead of focusing on what I didn’t want. I had to change my story.

My regular Happiness practices such as Buddhist chanting, gratitude, meditation, Thought Field Therapy (TFT) – which releases blocked energy by tapping on acupressure points and is also called tapping – and other techniques can all be useful to avoid getting sucked into a vortex of negativity. Remember though, it’s vital to allow ourselves to feel the pain before we use other Happiness techniques. It can be a tricky balancing act.

In her video “What to Do If You Feel Hopeless,” Teal Swan says, “Whatever you do, don’t try to think positive thoughts. Don’t write a single affirmation. Anything you try hard to do to get out of the feeling of hopelessness will ensnare you deeper.”

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