I had difficulty going to sleep, which is unusual for me lately. I’ve been in the habit of listening to the Silva method evening meditation and that sends me to sleep pretty quickly. I ate a large meal and too much dark chocolate right before bed and I’ve got quite a lot on my mind, including the fact that I have to be up at 6 am to go to training that I don’t really want to go to, for a new job that I don’t really want to do. So I lay there tossing and turning, feeling sick, trying various tricks to help me sleep and berating myself for eating so much chocolate. I felt sick, hot and thirsty. I tried some of my lucid dream techniques.
Eventually I fell into a deep sleep. Too deep, it was uncomfortable. I’ve had that happen before and I can’t wake up. It scares me. It’s kind of like I’m suffocating under a thick, heavy duvet of sleep and I’m struggling to get out from underneath or like I’m underwater and I’m trying to pull my way to the surface.
I was dreaming about trying to wake up and trying to wake my Mum up. I have that dream a lot. I try and scream to try and get my Mum’s attention that I need help and to try and wake myself up. I’ve been having that dream for as long as I can remember, even though I haven’t lived with my Mum for many years.
I dreamt that I was stumbling around trying to turn the light on, trying to scream and trying to wake myself up. I remembered that my bedside light was broken and so I was trying to reach the light switch on the wall. I can’t remember much else of what I was dreaming about. I know my cat Charlie was there and I dreamt that I had a mouthful of cat hair. I think there was something to do with a radio.
Then I found myself dreaming about a man in my life and I think I might have been lucid dreaming. If not, I was dreaming about lucid dreaming. I said to myself “I recognise that I am dreaming.” I dreamt that I was sucking this guy’s toes and I had a vague recollection of him telling me that he had a foot fetish. I wondered if he was having the same dream. I decided to text him when I awoke, but then I decided it would be inappropriate.
Then I was back to the whirlwind of struggling to wake up again. Suddenly I found myself in my car. I looked up and a woman that I recognized was pouring water into my car from a watering can. She was a wise woman. I think I recognised her from the telly, although she also reminded me of a wise Sufi woman that I knew in Cairo.
She smiled at me.
“I forgot that you always wait for me and fill my car up with your watering can,” I said. “It is such a hot day and I’m so thirsty.”
I excitedly told her about my dream. I heard some birds crowing and I looked up to the roof of a nearby house and saw two black birds, maybe rooks or crows, talking to me but they were calling me Karen instead of Sam.
“They’re telling you that you’re still there,” said the wise woman. “You need to get back down to Earth. You need to ground yourself.”
I felt myself slipping away.
“I feel like I’m half asleep,” I said. “I feel as though I’m going to pass out.” And then I was sucked into the whirlwind again. Looking for the light switch, trying to scream and trying to wake up. It was quite frightening. I asked my guides and angels to help me and then I woke up and I was screaming.
I was very hot and sweaty. I lay there trying to calm down and wondered what it all meant. I knew I had to write it down straight away, even though I have to be up at 6 am or earlier and have a big day ahead. The clock display read 2:22, which means ‘you’re nearly there, don’t quit’ in angel numbers.
I’m not sure what the dream meant. Maybe ‘don’t dabble in lucid dreaming’ or ‘don’t eat so much dark chocolate before bed’. I’m intrigued to know why the birds were calling me Karen. Maybe I was Karen in a past life. Or maybe I’m Karen ‘on the other side.’
I’d love people’s thoughts and comments.