How to Get What You Want – Focus on What You Want

Focus on what you want because what you focus on is what you get. Energy flows where attention goes.  If you focus on problems, you’ll get more problems. Reframe the problem and turn it around. When we focus on our problems we’re focusing on what we don’t want. Think about what you do want and focus on that. For example: What is the problem? My boss is a bitch. What don’t you want? I don’t want my boss to be a bitch. What do you want? I want my boss to be nice to me and treat me with respect. This creates a shift in our thoughts and our vibration. You will find that just by shifting your thoughts from what you don’t want, to what you do want, will make you feel better and you will start to manifest what you do want.

It’s also important to avoid complaining. Complaining is focusing on what you what you don’t want. If you complain that your boss is a bitch, not only will she keep being a bitch, but when you get a new boss and / or a new job, the likelihood is that your new boss will also be a bitch, or the male equivalent. The same goes with relationships and pretty much anything in your life. Another way to reframe a situation or person is to think about the good things about it or them.

I used to work with a guy who really used to piss me off. He was always interfering with my work and trying to tell me how to do my job. He made me feel so angry and we were always at loggerheads. One day, after doing an exercise from “Calling in the One” by Katherine Woodward Thomas, I started to look at the situation differently. I thought about this guy and I realized that he had good motives. He loved his job and he wanted to make sure that things were done correctly. From that day forward our relationship improved dramatically.

Another area that people often complain about or worry about is money. I used to always talk about not having any money and guess what? I never had any. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Now I think about all the great things I have in my life and say thank you for them. I donate to charity even in months when I have a lower income, because I am prosperous  and  there’s plenty in the universe for everyone. When I pay my bills, I bless them with love and give thanks for having a beautiful flat and lots of money to pay my rent and bills. I have an abundance of wonderful things in my life and I count my blessings.

I often hear people say “I can’t get a job because of the economy.”  Turn that around and whenever you find yourself thinking that, say to yourself “that might be true for some but it doesn’t have to be true for me.”


1)      Think of a problem that you have and ask yourself what you don’t want. Then ask yourself what you do want. Every time  you think about the problem, turn it around and focus on what you do want.

2)      Think of a person or a situation that is bothering you. Think of all the good things that you can about that person or situation.

3)      Give to charity every month, even if it’s only £1.

4)      When you pay your bills, bless them with love and be thankful that you have plenty of money to pay them.

Dealing with Depression

I am taking a break from my ‘How to Get What You Want’ series to bring you some tips on dealing with depression, based on my own personal experience. Despite the fact that I have a wonderful life and I practice my spiritual rituals every day, I still get depressed. This usually passes within a day or sometimes even an hour or two.  I sometimes feel like a bit of a hypocrite writing this blog when I have moments of depression, so I thought I would be transparent, write about it and share the techniques that I use to deal with such episodes.

This too shall pass

I know from experience that things always get better and I find it helps to repeat to myself, “This too shall pass.”


I have noticed that I often feel low when I’m tired and that having a nap can work wonders. I get tired and then I can’t be bothered to do anything, so I sit around in my pyjamas watching TV and eating chocolate. I can’t be arsed to go out and have fun or do something constructive. Yesterday I felt like this. I had plans to go out in the evening but I suddenly felt really tired and low. I was going to cancel my plans but instead I had a nap, felt loads better, went out in the evening and had a lot of fun.

Do one small thing

One of the things that causes me to feel low is feeling overwhelmed with too much to do and so I don’t do anything. I usually find that doing one small thing changes my state and gets the momentum going for me to get other things done. This nearly always improves my mood and if it doesn’t this is a great time for acceptance.


It’s good to accept the feelings without judging them or analysing them. I often find my thoughts running away with me at times like this and I experience what is known as ‘analysis paralysis’. When I find my thoughts running away with me, I pray for help to release the obsession and hand over my problems to my higher power. I acknowledge the feelings and release the need to interact with them. If I am feeling low and all I want to do is sit on the sofa and eat chocolate, I know that doing one small thing will help. Sometimes however, even that is too much. In which case I accept that in this moment I can choose to sit on the sofa, watch crap TV and eat chocolate. The secret is to do it without guilt and without beating myself up for it.


A good way to stop the ‘analysis paralysis’ is simply to breathe. Just stop for a few moments and observe your breath going in and out. This will help you to feel more serene and grounded.


I find that playing lively, upbeat music is a great way to change state. If I can gather the enthusiasm to dance and sing or along, then that’s even better.

If you would like to share your own experience of dealing with depression or have any questions, please feel free to comment below.

How to Get What You Want – Detachment, Surrender and Relationships

Deepak Chopra’s sixth spiritual law of success is the law of detachment. I think detachment  is the biggest key to manifesting and it’s the hardest technique to master. Paradoxically, the more attached we are to the outcome of our intention, the harder is to manifest.

We don’t need to know how we will achieve our intentions and focusing on the “cursed hows” as Mike Dooley calls them, delays the outcome. When we start thinking about how we will manifest our desires we get in the way and limit the universe. The universe is much cleverer than us and much cleverer than we often give it credit for. It has often been said that “The Lord works in mysterious ways.” We don’t know exactly how our intention will manifest and we don’t need to know. I once asked the universe for a silver Audi TT using visualistion and I got a silver StreetKa, which could be considered a poor man’s Audi TT. Nevertheless I was extremely pleased with the outcome.

The thing that I wanted the most was a relationship and because I wanted it so badly, it took me a long time to manifest. I kept asking my angel cards for guidance and I kept getting the same card. “Accept Heaven’s Help. You’ve asked for heaven’s help. Now get out of the way and let us help you.” I realised that I was trying too hard and that I kept trying to control and manipulate the situation. I was always thinking about things I could do to attract a guy’s attention. It was a hard habit to break. In the end I got sick and I didn’t have the energy to flirt, let alone manipulate.

I surrendered to God or the universe, or whatever you want to call a higher power. If things didn’t work out with a guy, I shrugged it off and I trusted that the universe had someone or something better in store for me. This wasn’t easy and I still took it hard when things didn’t work out but I kept praying, kept surrendering and kept trusting.

As I started to get better physically and emotionally, I started taking better care of myself. Everyone always says that you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. This always drove me crazy and I always wanted to knock them out. The thing is that we all know that we have to love ourselves but we don’t know how. I was doing a lot of work on myself spiritually and I joined some support groups. I started treating myself how I hoped a lover would treat me. I bought myself some sexy bras and panties. I treated myself to massages and other beauty treatments. I lit candles in the evening. I took sea salt baths with essential oils. I got to the point where I felt really happy and suddenly I realised that it was OK and although I wanted to be in a relationship, I didn’t need one to be happy. Shortly after voicing that thought at one of my support groups I started a relationship. That was in October and I began  a happy relationship with someone that I consider to be one of my soulmates. It is potentially the first healthy relationship I’ve had in my 37 years of life. Unfortunately we split up in March, due to it being a long distance relationship.  I hope that we can find a way to live in the same country and get back together. When things get tough or I miss him, I have to keep remembering to surrender and trust that if it’s meant to be the universe will conspire to make it happen. I don’t need to know how. I just need to trust and if for any reason it doesn’t work out I know that the universe has an even better soulmate relationship lined up for me.

Exercise: Think of a situation in your life right now that is not going according to plan. Take some deep breaths, hand it over to the universe and trust. Repeat this exercise every time you start to obsess or worry.

How to Get What You Want – Setting Intentions

How to Get What You Want – Setting Intentions

Ancient wisdom talks about the law of attraction and it is mentioned in holy writings, including the bible and the Qur’an. Jesus said “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” – Matthew 7:7 and the Qu’ran says, “God promises you … abundance” Quran 2:268 Surat Al-Baqara

In his book The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Deepak Chopra suggests writing a list of intentions and reading that list first thing in the morning, before bed and before meditating. He also recommends carrying that list around with you. I started doing this in November 2011 and within a few months I had manifest a flat, a car, a great job with a high salary, a relationship with someone that I believe to be my soulmate and an abundance of other things.

Once you have set the intentions, release them into the universe and trust. You don’t need to know how your intentions will manifest and the more detached you are from the outcome, the quicker it will come. I will cover detachment in my next blog post.

Exercise: write your own personal list of intentions. Read it first thing in the morning, before bed and before meditating. Carry a copy around with you.

How to Get What you Want – Be Grateful

Every morning I list five things that I’m grateful for. Being grateful moves us from a place of lack to a place of abundance by helping us to focus on all the positive things in our lives. This is a great way to start being happy.

Exercise: Write a list at least five A5 pages long of things that you’re grateful for. Send a message to a family member or friend and let them know how grateful you are for their love and support. After that write a list of five things that you’re grateful for every day before you start work or the day’s activities.