How to Get What You Want – Detachment, Surrender and Relationships

Deepak Chopra’s sixth spiritual law of success is the law of detachment. I think detachment  is the biggest key to manifesting and it’s the hardest technique to master. Paradoxically, the more attached we are to the outcome of our intention, the harder is to manifest.

We don’t need to know how we will achieve our intentions and focusing on the “cursed hows” as Mike Dooley calls them, delays the outcome. When we start thinking about how we will manifest our desires we get in the way and limit the universe. The universe is much cleverer than us and much cleverer than we often give it credit for. It has often been said that “The Lord works in mysterious ways.” We don’t know exactly how our intention will manifest and we don’t need to know. I once asked the universe for a silver Audi TT using visualistion and I got a silver StreetKa, which could be considered a poor man’s Audi TT. Nevertheless I was extremely pleased with the outcome.

The thing that I wanted the most was a relationship and because I wanted it so badly, it took me a long time to manifest. I kept asking my angel cards for guidance and I kept getting the same card. “Accept Heaven’s Help. You’ve asked for heaven’s help. Now get out of the way and let us help you.” I realised that I was trying too hard and that I kept trying to control and manipulate the situation. I was always thinking about things I could do to attract a guy’s attention. It was a hard habit to break. In the end I got sick and I didn’t have the energy to flirt, let alone manipulate.

I surrendered to God or the universe, or whatever you want to call a higher power. If things didn’t work out with a guy, I shrugged it off and I trusted that the universe had someone or something better in store for me. This wasn’t easy and I still took it hard when things didn’t work out but I kept praying, kept surrendering and kept trusting.

As I started to get better physically and emotionally, I started taking better care of myself. Everyone always says that you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. This always drove me crazy and I always wanted to knock them out. The thing is that we all know that we have to love ourselves but we don’t know how. I was doing a lot of work on myself spiritually and I joined some support groups. I started treating myself how I hoped a lover would treat me. I bought myself some sexy bras and panties. I treated myself to massages and other beauty treatments. I lit candles in the evening. I took sea salt baths with essential oils. I got to the point where I felt really happy and suddenly I realised that it was OK and although I wanted to be in a relationship, I didn’t need one to be happy. Shortly after voicing that thought at one of my support groups I started a relationship. That was in October and I began  a happy relationship with someone that I consider to be one of my soulmates. It is potentially the first healthy relationship I’ve had in my 37 years of life. Unfortunately we split up in March, due to it being a long distance relationship.  I hope that we can find a way to live in the same country and get back together. When things get tough or I miss him, I have to keep remembering to surrender and trust that if it’s meant to be the universe will conspire to make it happen. I don’t need to know how. I just need to trust and if for any reason it doesn’t work out I know that the universe has an even better soulmate relationship lined up for me.

Exercise: Think of a situation in your life right now that is not going according to plan. Take some deep breaths, hand it over to the universe and trust. Repeat this exercise every time you start to obsess or worry.

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