Twelve Tips to Manifest Your Soulmate

Samantha Brook and her soulmate, Andy, aka Mr Sexy Pants or MSP for short
Samantha Brook and her soulmate, Andy, aka Mr Sexy Pants or MSP for short

In 2015 I manifested my soulmate Andy, also known as Mr Sexy Pants, or MSP for short. I used various manifesting techniques and law of attraction tools. In this article I share some of my secrets so that you can also manifest your soulmate.

Tip one – Get Happy

People think they’ll get Happy when they’ve got what they want: a new boyfriend, more money, a better job etc. Actually, it’s the other way around, when we become Happy, we tend to get what we want. In regard to relationships, we’re much more attractive when we’re Happy. We become a magnet for potential partners.

I often say that 2015 was the year I got Happy. 2015 was a year of transformation for me, in all areas of my life, but particularly relationships. I did a lot of personal and spiritual development including an Akashic Record reading on my 40th birthday, TFT Tapping Therapy, healing and coaching from Amanda Hart, Kambo therapy, and more. I also had the honour of becoming an official member of the Soka Gakai International (SGI)1 and receiving my Gohonzon2 in May 2015.

Tip two – Set an intention and a deadline

In the summer of 2015, I made a determination to be in a happy, blissful relationship with my soulmate partner by November 18th. I had been trying to manifest my soulmate for a long time. I had a positive outlook, but I couldn’t seem to make a breakthrough. Although I found it very frustrating, I realised I needed to remain positive, keep chanting and keep redetermining when setbacks occurred and actually, especially then, because that is when the magic happens.

My Buddhist friend Cristina and I set the determination together. We realised that in order to achieve our determination, something had to shift on a fundamental level, so we also added a determination to overcome our feelings of low self-worth and self-esteem.

I didn’t get together with MSP before November 18th, but he did tell me he liked me and thought I was ‘the one’ around that time. I redetermined that I would meet my soulmate by January 1st 2016. MSP and I got together on 30th December!

Tip three  – Write a list

Write a list of everything you want to manifest in your soulmate. Remember to be specific. I heard about a woman who wrote a list, but she forgot to specify that she wanted a man. Shortly afterwards she met her new best female friend, who met all the criteria on the list.

The first time I wrote a list of what I wanted to manifest in my soulmate, I forgot to specify where I wanted him to live. I met someone and we started dating. He ticked all the boxes, but he lived in Lebanon. We split up for a few reasons, but mainly due to the distance.

After that I amended my list and specified that I wanted my partner to live close enough that I could see him a few times per week. When I started dating MSP, he could walk to my house in five minutes.

Tip four – Spiritual practice

Having some kind of spiritual practice, where we quieten our mind helps us to get what we want. Abraham Hicks says that we can use all the manifesting or law of attraction techniques and take all the action there is going, but if we don’t include meditation in our practice, it’s like hoovering the whole house without the hoover being plugged in.

I believe meditation is a crucial part of getting what we want for two reasons. Firstly, it quietens our mind and stops us obsessing about why our soulmate hasn’t manifested yet or why we keep attracting partners that treat us badly. Secondly when we quieten our mind it enables us to tune into the divine wisdom of God, the Universe, the Angels, our higher selves, or whatever higher power we believe in.

I regularly pray, meditate, and chant. I find all these practices extremely powerful. Chanting seems to particularly speed up the manifestation process.

Tip five – Take action

We can take inspired action based on the wisdom we’ve tuned into during our meditation. This could be anything from downloading an online dating app to joining a yoga class. I met MSP at poker!

We might not know what action to take, but taking action, even if it’s the wrong action, give us momentum and from there our intuition or our higher power can redirect us.

Tip six – Add a little magic

Something else I practiced just before I met MSP, was candle magic and feng shui.

I placed two candles together, a pink one and a white one, as they melted, they merged into one.

I also set up a relationship corner in my living room. The relationship corner held some beautiful fake flowers in a vase, my aforementioned candles, a picture of a couple kissing, heart shaped things and other things related to love. I bought two new mugs; one for me and one for my soulmate. I cleared a draw where my soulmate could put his things when he arrived.

MSP keeps asking when I’m going to take the spell off him!

Tip seven – Become a woman (or man) of high value

In his book, ‘Get the Guy’, Matthew Hussey talks about becoming a ‘woman of high value’. I think this is key in finding a healthy, meaningful relationship. One of the things that held me back in my quest for love was my low self-esteem. This meant I tolerated bad behaviour such as letting men send me ‘bit pics’ because I thought that was the only way to get and keep a man.

When I lived in Egypt, I was dating a guy who lived on the other side of Cairo. I noticed he had a habit of saying he’d come over after work, and then cancelling at the last minute. The first couple of times I let it go, but the third time it happened I called him out on it. I did it without attachment to the outcome. I just stated the facts. The guy called me in a panic. He apologised and told me he was coming straight over.

When we increase our self-esteem, we become more confident about setting boundaries and saying no. When we do this in an empowered way, rather than a needy way, it can actually be a turn on. There’s something very sexy about a woman who knows her worth and doesn’t take any shit from anyone.

Tip eight – Treat yourself how you would want a lover to treat you

Act as if you already had a lover by treating yourself how you want a lover to treat you. Cook yourself a delicious meal, take yourself on a date or a trip, treat yourself to some sexy lingerie.

Tip nine – Learn to be Happy in your own skin

I found that one of the worst things about being single was feeling lonely. Overcoming loneliness was key in my journey of learning to be Happy and attracting a relationship. I recommend turning off your phone and spending time in silence every day. From time to time have a DIY silent retreat at home.

Tip ten – Be Happy for others

For a long time I was very bitter when I saw other people who were Happy in their relationships. I was jealous and made bitchy comments. After a while, I realised that my jealousy was blocking me from manifesting a relationship. When I saw Happy couples, instead of getting jealous I consciously thought, I’m happy for them. That’s for me. If they can have it, then so can I. We can choose to be jealous of other people’s Happiness or we can choose to find it inspiring.

Tip eleven – Learning experiences

Along the way there will be many learning experiences. I often find that when I set an intention or determination, the shit hits the fan. I believe this is because everything that needs healing comes up to the surface so we can deal with it. In Buddhism we call this human revolution.

When I got together with MSP it had been 13 years since I’d been in a healthy relationship. I kept repeating the same patterns of attracting men that were unavailable either because they were already in a relationship, lived too far away, were emotionally unavailable, or something else.

When I got Happy, I started attracting a lot of men. Previously I’d always been the one chasing men, but now men were chasing me. The problem was  they were all players. One of my friends pointed out to me that I was a player. At first, I denied it, but I realised she was right. I was a player, and I was attracting players. I made a very clear decision to change my pattern to only date ‘nice guys’ going forward.

MSP is a ‘nice guy’. He still has an edge. If he was too nice, I would get bored. He treats me with respect, but he doesn’t take any shit from me, and vice versa.

I also had to let go of my belief that all my men are wankers. According to the law of attraction, what we focus on is what we get, so if we think that all men are wankers it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Look for evidence that there are some good men out there. MSP is a good man and I know plenty of men that treat the women in their lives with love and respect.

Every romantic encounter I had provided me with learning experiences and took me one step closer to my relationship with MSP.

When you do have bad experiences, you can do a forgiveness ritual to forgive the other person and forgive yourself.

Tip twelve  – Let go


One of my favourite prayers from A Course in Miracles is, ‘I will step back and let you lead the way’. In the Buddhism I practice we call it the ‘strategy of the Lotus Sutra’. I understand this as following divine wisdom or our own intuition in a relaxed way, letting go of the need to control, the need to know how it will happen, and letting go of attachment to the outcome.

Mike Dooley from TUT, talks about the ‘cursed hows’. When we obsess about how we will meet our soulmate or who it might be, we limit the power of the Universe. The Universe works in mysterious ways. Ways that our human brains often find it difficult to fathom.

It’s also important to let go of having a certain type or fixating on a certain person. Shortly before I started dating MSP, I was dating someone else, who I was convinced was ‘the one’. When MSP first told me he liked me, I held back, because I was still fixated on the last guy I’d been dating. When I chanted about getting into a relationship, I had to remind myself to be open to other possibilities.

I also had to let go of what I thought my type was. I usually went for arty, spiritual types, whereas MSP is an accountant.


Manifesting your soulmate begins with finding Happiness from within and setting clear, specific intentions. Use spiritual practices such as meditation and chanting to stay aligned and grounded. Take inspired action, treat yourself with love, and maintain a high sense of self-worth. Embrace learning experiences and let go of limiting beliefs. Stay open to the universe’s possibilities, trust the process, and remember that love often comes in unexpected forms. By following these steps, I was able to manifest my soulmate, MSP, and you can manifest your soulmate too.

Where are you on journey to find love? What is your experience? Let me know in the comments or in the Happiness Club Facebook Group.

Ps. If you’d like to invoke your Freakin’ Goddess, overcome fear and imposter syndrome and achieve unlimited self-esteem, then check out my free guide and online course. If you’re in Ipswich, you can also come to my live Happiness Club event.



  1. SGI is a worldwide community that cherishes peace, culture and education and takes action in society based on respect for the dignity of life.
  2. The Gohonzon is ‘the object of devotion for observing the mind’ that we chant to in Nichiren Buddhism.

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