Journal 9th August 2016

Breakdowns often precede the greatest breakthroughs.

It’s been a while – I know. Although I’ve been feeling more positive on the whole, I have been up and down and feeling quite tired. I’ve had problems with depression and fatigue since I was a teenager. I recently had a Tapping therapy session with my great friend, Val Chater, and we cleared a lot of pain from my childhood that is causing that. Lots of issues are still coming up to be cleared and Val gave me a Tapping sequence that I can use for myself when issues come to the surface. I am certain that I will emerge from this period of uncertainty stronger than ever and ready to move forward with my mission to help others through my writing and in any other ways that I can.

Being tired has led me into bad habits. I’ve been getting up late, watching TV and then I’ve been running behind schedule. As the business is quiet, I should have plenty of time to work on my mission but a slow start in the morning has led to lethargy and feeling like I’m always catching up.

I’ve also been slack with my chanting; only squeezing in five minutes here and there. I found that I stopped enjoying the chanting and so I was putting it off. I chanted to change that a few days ago and since then I’ve been inspired by other SGI* members to start chanting with vigour again. This morning I woke up early and chanted at 6 am. Although I was half-asleep when I started, by the time I finished I was filled with energy and motivation. I’ve had time to chant, enjoy a healthy breakfast, spend time on my writing and I will start work at around 9 am.

As SGI leader, President Daisaku Ikeda says,

“Anyone who has ever made a resolution discovers that the strength of that determination fades in time. The moment you feel that is when you should make a fresh determination. Tell yourself, “OK! I will start again from now!” If you fall down seven times, get up an eighth. Don’t give up when you feel discouraged—just pick yourself up and renew your determination each time.”

*SGI – a socially engaged Buddhist movement. http://www.sgi.org/

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