Saturday 28th of March 2020
It is the 2nd week of lockdown during the Coronavirus crisis in the UK. I’m enjoying some much-needed quiet time.
When they started talking at work about us taking our laptops home every night, I didn’t take it too seriously. Although after a few days I did start to stow my laptop away in my pink rucksack and take it home with me every evening. The thought of lockdown secretly excited me. I also found the idea of working from home appealing. I thought it would give me lots of extra time to relax and work on Happiness Club.
As the likelihood of lockdown became more real though I started to worry. I avoided watching the news and talking about coronavirus too much. As a big advocate of the law of attraction, I’m a big believer that what we focus on is what we get, so I always aim to focus on what I want rather than what I don’t want. As a follower of the law of attraction I was therefore not surprised when the Health Minister and subsequently Prime Minister, Boris Johnson and Matt Hancock, Secretary of State for Health and Social Care contracted it.
I admit that although I wasn’t focusing on it, I did wake up in the night a few times with a dry cough, feeling worried that maybe I had it. My biggest concern though was social isolation. I was worried about becoming bored. I was also anxious about being cooped up with my boyfriend, Mr Sexy Pants (MSP) for weeks or months on end. Surely, we would drive each other nuts? I was alarmed when he casually mentioned that he might move in with his best friend. He felt he might be safer there away from the cats. As someone suffering from asthma, he is vulnerable to coronavirus and the cats aggravate his asthma. The thought became gradually more appealing though, especially when I realised how much he talks! A few times I’ve had to ask him if we can have some “quiet time” now. Although to be fair I’ve been pleasantly surprised that we’ve been getting on very well on the whole.
I had romantic notions of having plenty of time to work on Happiness Club and my writing. As well as plenty of time for silent retreat and meditation. In reality I’ve never been so busy. Working from home is bloody hard due to the constant pressure I put myself under to do enough work to prove I’m not skiving. I’ve tried to pack so much into my extra time that I’ve become totally overwhelmed. My Facebook and WhatsApp have never been so busy. My head hurts from being constantly on the phone or computer. I put my WhatsApp on mute for a few hours the other day and when I came back I had nearly 200 messages.
This evening I’m grateful that MSP is playing online poker and that he’s keeping himself occupied. We had a virtual drinks party earlier for 40 minutes at 7:00 PM. I was also supposed to be playing poker this evening but unfortunately, or fortunately, as the case maybe, I didn’t register for the game properly and to be honest it was a huge relief. I took the opportunity to turn off my phone and have some quiet time. To begin with I didn’t know what to do with myself. “What is the highest and best use of my time?” I asked myself, based on the teachings of Teal Swan. “What would someone who loves themselves do?”
I played my meditation playlist on Spotify. Inspired my friend and Queen of mandalas, Monica Cilmi, I drew myself a mandala and coloured it in. It felt mentally relaxing and gratifying. That lasted for about 20 minutes before the mandala was complete. I donned my cosy winter pyjamas and snuggled in bed under my two duvets with a hot water bottle, to move way from MSP’s poker game, which was increasing in volume. I grabbed one of my precious notebooks and fountain pens and started writing. Before I knew it, I had written a story. I reckon my sanity will be restored by a bit of meditation before bed. I’m tempted to spend tomorrow having an extended digital detox. I wonder how long I can keep MSP quiet for.
What is your experience of social isolation? How are you finding it?
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This post was originally published on happiness-club.co.uk.