The Importance of Forgiveness (and how to achieve it)

The Importance of Forgiveness

It’s easy to forget the importance of forgiveness. We forgive others, not to benefit them, but to benefit ourselves. Holding onto anger, bitterness and blame eats away at us and stops us from achieving peace of mind. It can be tricky to forgive, especially when we’ve been deeply hurt.

Forgiveness is not the same as condoning unacceptable behaviour. We still need to ensure we are respecting ourselves and setting boundaries.

I have a forgiveness exercise that I like do to as part of my morning rituals. The exercise is based on a forgiveness affirmation from Louise Hay and a forgiveness mediation that forms part of Vishen Lakshani’s 6-phase meditation. I usually do it while I’m doing my Buddhist chanting.


In my head I visualise the person I want to forgive and I say the following:

“I forgive you (name of person) for not being the way I wanted you to be.

I forgive you and I ask that you forgive me.

I forgive you and I set you free.”


Then I picture and hear them saying the same back to me:

“I forgive you Sam for not being the way I wanted you to be.

I forgive you and I ask that you forgive me.

I forgive you and I set you free.”

Often I don’t feel very different after the meditation. I have noticed that my relationships with people experience subtle shifts though, often when it’s a more minor case. When it’s something more major or if I feel particularly angry, it takes a bit more time. There are some people that I’ve done this exercise with several times and I still feel angry. I keep repeating the exercise and I trust that on some level it’s working and one day we’ll have a breakthrough.

You can also use this exercise to forgive yourself and situations.

There lots of different methods for forgiveness. When I’m angry with someone I also chant for their happiness and use the Ho’oponopono* technique. Do some research and see what resonates with you. You could also make up your own, as I have done.

Please let us know how you get on in the comments.

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*Ho’oponopono will be covered in a later blog post.

4 Replies to “The Importance of Forgiveness (and how to achieve it)”

  1. Found that very helpful! I find forgiveness easier for some and not for others just yet I’m sure it will come when enough healing has be had. X

    1. Hi Jenny, thanks for your comment. I totally relate. Some people are definitely easier to forgive than others. I think if we can at least be willing to forgive, we are halfway there. x

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