You may have noticed that my blog has been quiet lately. I’ve been experiencing a period of fatigue and depression. I have often felt like giving it up. Sometimes it all feels too hard. When I feel like this, it’s made worse by the fact that I feel like a hypocrite and beat myself up for it.
It has been suggested by some of my friends and mentors that if I write honestly about my experience, not only will I benefit, I will help others as well. Being of service is known to be one of the keys to happiness.
Throughout this recent low time in my life I have neglected my daily happiness practices and I’m sure that contributes to the depression. It can be a vicious circle, whereas when I do my practices it can be a virtuous circle. I have a number of happiness practices including prayer, gratitude, meditation, grounding, morning pages, visualistion, affirmations and intentions, of which the core rituals are prayer, gratitude, grounding, morning pages and meditation. I have written about some of these in previous blogs and others will be covered in future blogs. I am also intending to add Tai Chi. When I do these practices from day to day I often don’t feel as if they’re working but if I look closer I realise that life is smoother and serener when I do the rituals and life becomes chaotic when they’re missing. I still get down times when I do the rituals but they are fewer, there is more time in between and the down time is shorter.
Yesterday I felt very low and when I went to bed I couldn’t sleep. My mind was churning about what I should and shouldn’t be doing. I remembered two important happiness practices: surrender and ho’oponopono. I prayed for help to surrender and then lay there repeating to myself, “I surrender, I surrender.” I also repeated the ho’oponopono* prayer: “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.” Very soon I began to experience a sense of serenity and calm and I went off to sleep.
I would recommend that everyone incorporates some kind of happiness practices into their lives. They don’t have to be spriritual or religious practices. They can be tailored to suit your beliefs and needs. I would also recommend starting slowly with one or two practices and building on them. I sometimes try to do too much and then I get overwhelmed and end up doing nothing.
It has been my intention for a while now to start a happiness club to help myself to achieve happiness and also to help others who can benefit from what I’ve learnt and continue to learn. I feel that this would benefit me and others enormously. There is a big part of me that is terrified of failure and that’s holding me back. I have to take the plunge and move forward with this project.
This reminds me of my dear friend Sarah Shepherd’s recent article about The Energies of May 2013, where she quoted Patrick Overton, “When you come to the edge of all the light you have, and must take a step into the darkness of the unknown, believe that one of two things will happen. Either there will be something solid for you to stand on or you will be taught how to fly.”
I’m praying to God and the angels to give me the courage to follow through with this project and I’m asking you to pray for me to whichever higher power you believe in and if you don’t believe in anything, please just send me some positive vibes.
I will be running happiness clubs in Ipswich and online. For more information and to register, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and type “I want to learn to love myself” in the subject heading.
*Ho’oponopono will be covered in a future article.