Journal 13th June 2016

I’ve been feeling low again the last week or so. I am tired and I’ve been having headaches. I feel overwhelmed with work. I am nervous about the boxing match and wondering why I decided to sign up.

I think this is partly a message from the Universe that I am straying too far from my life purpose, or at least not spending enough time on it. I also think that because I’m Lilacing1; it’s bringing everything up to the surface.

I don’t know how I can spend more time on my life purpose. I suppose it’s baby steps. At the lilac enrolment ceremony I set myself a determination2 to spend 15 minutes per day on my personal writing and or journaling, in an effort to serve humanity and shakubuku 3 through my writing.

On the plus side Andy has been amazing. He’s so supportive. Over the last few days I feel as though I love him more and more every day and then yesterday morning he said exactly that to me. When we were playing poker at Kirby Street on Friday, I looked at him and I thought “God, I love you so much”.

I had a great TFT4 session with my dear friend Val Chater on Friday and I released a lot of fears, especially around boxing, including the fear of fear itself. I am probably still releasing stuff now.

I also know that everything always works out for the best and that every challenging situation has a solution. Through my Buddhist practice I can overcome any problems that may otherwise seem insurmountable. I can ‘make the impossible possible’ in the words of SGI leader President Daisaku Ikeda.

Well – what do you know? I feel better already. J

1Lilacing – to be a dedicated volunteer for two years within SGI – a socially engaged Buddhist movement.

2Determination – similar to an intention. I will cover this in more detail in a later post.

3Shakubuku – the way I understand shakubuku is that it’s about teaching people to reveal their Buddhahood, improve their lives and by doing so make a contribution towards world peace. http://www.sgi.org/about-us/buddhism-in-daily-life/shakubuku-reveal-true-potential.html

4TFT – Thought Field Therapy, aka Tapping, releases energetic blocks helping to overcome negativity, fear, limiting beliefs etc and can be used to overcome virtually any problem and help you achieve pretty much anything you want. www.tftval.co.uk

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