The Key to Internet Dating for Men

What’s the key to internet dating for men? Internet dating can be soul destroying. I’ve been on many dates where I don’t fancy him or he doesn’t fancy me or neither of us fancies each other. Many times I’ve felt like throwing in the towel. I have loads of friends that have met their soul mates online.

I spent five years internet dating before I went to Egypt, without success. Since my return to the UK I have taken it up again and I am really enjoying the whole experience. I’m unsure if it’s me that’s changed or the men. I suspect it’s the former and the fact that being three years older and wiser has improved my choice of men. I used to have many men propositioning me for sex, but then maybe that’s because I used to have a cleavage shot as a profile picture.

Four years on as I view men’s profiles and read their emails, I am shocked and dismayed at some of the school boy errors a lot of men are making and therefore shooting themselves in the foot. I feel compelled to write this article from a women’s point of view to give you chaps some tips.

Your Profile

Keep this positive and upbeat. Use examples, if you say you’re adventurous back it up with an example. Avoid negativity, bitterness and talking about ex-partners. All those things are a big turn off. I am shocked by the number of guys who put themselves down in their profile. It’s important for you to love yourself before someone else can love you. Some guys angrily rant about bad dating experiences or ex-partners. It’s generally best to avoid talking about exes, even if it’s in a positive way. Talking about an ex in your profile indicates that you still need to get over them.

For example this would be a foolish thing to write,

“I’m now ready to start dating again, despite that fact that my bitch ex-wife shagged my best friend and then fleeced me in the divorce.”

Bad grammar is also a big turn off.

Your Photo

Always put a photo on your profile, even if you believe you are ugly. Someone will find you handsome and will fancy you. I only look at profiles with pictures and most women are the same. A lot of the guys I go for are just average looking but they win me over with interesting profiles.

Stay away from partially nude and topless photos, unless you want to give the impression that you’re a player and only after one thing. These kinds of photos are occasionally acceptable in the right circumstances, for example, if you’re on the beach.

George, a skinny, pale guy, had a picture of himself wearing a pair of jeans and without a shirt, with the caption: “The Shark. Snake69. Fit as f*ck if you like to no me.” Oh, the irony. A classic example of a bad photo and terrible grammar.


Avoid copy and paste. Write about something that you’ve read in the lady’s profile to give the email a personal touch. Again bad grammar is a no no.

Build rapport by mirroring and matching in the email. Look for words that the person uses and use the same words in your message. You can also match the style and grammar of the other person. This is one occasion where bad grammar would be acceptable.

Women like decisive men. After three or four emails I would recommend asking the woman out for a coffee. A coffee date is an ideal way to meet someone without pressure and see if there’s a spark between you. It’s always better to meet up sooner rather than later.

Keep Positive

It’s easy to become disheartened when you have a bad date or only receive a few replies. Keep in mind the bigger picture and remember that it will be worth it when you begin that special relationship. You may feel as though many women are ignoring your emails. Women generally receive a lot more emails than men, as men are still the hunters, even in these modern times. I have received over 1000 emails in the last few months and I am unable to read them all, let alone reply to them.

The Date

Always travel to meet the woman in her home town if you can and if she is comfortable with it. If you only have limited knowledge of the area, do some research and find somewhere special to meet your date. As with emailing build rapport by mirroring and matching both words and body language.

Date as many women as you can to give you the best chance of finding the right one. Be completely honest with your dates about this and understand they may want to do the same. As author of ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus‘, John Gray would say, “Date around, don’t sleep around.”

I really hope these tips on internet dating for men help men to improve their internet dating skills. Remember there are always plenty more fish in the sea and there is someone for everyone. As I said earlier, I have many friends that met their partners online. It is my wish that everyone could be in a relationship with their soul mate. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to contact me.

The Key to Life

Well I have to admit I’ve been pretty rubbish at keeping this blog updated. On the plus side, so far 2012 has been fabulous. I have been eating generally more healthily, I have taken up running, I’ve been on loads of great dates and I’m feeling really relaxed and happy.

I’m really enjoying living in Ipswich and I am finally learning to chill out, be present, trust and surrender. I believe these things are the key to life. I’ve stopped stressing about what I should be doing and started doing what I want to do, without feeling guilty. I am also to start to get the hang of manifesting. In the last few months I have manifest two amazing friends, a flat, a car, various amounts of unexpected sums of money up to £400 and my £25,000 of debt has magically disappeared.

I used to get my knickers in a twist that I should be meditating, become a vegan, be exercising, do yoga, spend time in nature, cut out sugar and so on. I often felt overwhelmed by all the information about spirituality and all the material I read about spiritual practices that I should be doing. Now I read what I want, if and when I want to read it. I have found certain practices that work for me such as gratitude, ho’oponopono, Deepak Chopra’s Seven Spiritual Laws of Success (particularly the law of intention), the Power of Now, tithing and meditation. I release the need to feel that I have to practice them and I practice them if and when I want to. I find that I want to practice them most days and I can see and feel the results in my life.

Learning to love myself in 2012

My intention for 2012 is learn to love and care about myself. My first step is to stop eating crap and start eating healthily by increasing my intake of raw fruit and vegetables and decreasing my intake of white flour, sugar and meat.
On the menu today:

Tea with milk
Oatibix oat flakes
Alpro soya yoghurt
Pumpkin seeds

Decaffeinated coffee

Scrambled Egg
Seeded wholemeal Toast
Baked Beans
Redbush tea

Learning to Love Myself Sugar Free Chocolate Truffles

Learning to Love Myself Cheese and Vegetable Bake

Reflections on the day
I felt a bit low earlier as I was lonely and worried about finding work and how I will manage financially, so I prayed and thought about what could help me feel better. I repeated the Ho’oponopono prayer a few times and said a gratitude prayer, as I know they have helped me before. To be honest, I didn’t expect them to help but I soon felt much better and felt motivated to cook a healthy dinner.
Gratitude Prayer – Every day I make it a habit to pray and give thanks for all the fantastic things in my life. This enables me to focus on the good, rather than the negative. This raises my vibration and attracts abundance into my life.
My breakfast cereal (oatibix oatflakes) contains sugar as does Alpro Soya yoghurt, so I intend to replace these with a sugar free alternative.
I could have eaten more raw fruit and vegetables by replacing the truffles with fruit, such as clementines, and saving the truffles as an end of day treat. I could also have had a salad with my dinner and drunk a lot more water.
No food is forbidden. It is my experience that as soon as I food is forbidden I eat it like there’s no tomorrow. 😀
My intentions for the rest of the day and tomorrow are:
1) To watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – part one
2) To watch some comedy. I believe that watching comedy is a good way to raise your vibration
3) To meditate for 30 minutes before I go to bed
4) To play something uplifting and positive as I go to sleep, so that it permeates my unconscious mind
5) To wake up and practice yoga and meditation
6) To practice the Ho’oponopono prayer, gratitude prayer and read my intentions list
7) To go for a walk in nature
8) To update this blog
9) To find case studies for my life coaching qualification

And so it is. And so it shall be.