Dealing with Depression – Part Two

You may have noticed that my blog has been quiet lately. I’ve been experiencing a  period of fatigue and depression. I have often felt like giving it up. Sometimes it all feels too hard. When I feel like this, it’s made worse by the fact that I feel like a hypocrite and beat myself up for it.

It has been suggested by some of my friends and mentors that if I write honestly about my experience, not only will I benefit, I will help others as well. Being of service is known to be one of the keys to happiness.

Throughout this recent low time in my life I have neglected my daily happiness practices and I’m sure that contributes to the depression. It can be a vicious circle, whereas when I do my practices it can be a virtuous circle. I have a number of happiness practices including prayer, gratitude,  meditation, grounding, morning pages, visualistion, affirmations and intentions, of which the core rituals are prayer, gratitude, grounding, morning pages and meditation. I have written about some of these in previous blogs and others will be covered in future blogs. I am also intending to add Tai Chi. When I do these practices from day to day I often don’t feel as if they’re working but if I look closer I realise that life is smoother and serener when I do the rituals and life becomes chaotic when they’re missing. I still get down times when I do the rituals but they are fewer, there is more time in between and the down time is shorter.

Yesterday I felt very low and when I went to bed I couldn’t sleep. My mind was churning about what I should and shouldn’t be doing. I remembered two important happiness practices: surrender and ho’oponopono. I prayed for help to surrender and then lay there repeating to myself, “I surrender, I surrender.” I also repeated the ho’oponopono* prayer: “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.” Very soon I began to experience a sense of serenity and calm and I went off to sleep.

I would recommend that everyone incorporates some kind of happiness practices into their lives. They don’t have to be spriritual or religious practices. They can be tailored to suit your beliefs and needs. I would also recommend starting slowly with one or two practices and building on them. I sometimes try to do too much and then I get overwhelmed and end up doing nothing.

It has been my intention for a while now to start a happiness club to help myself to achieve happiness  and also to help others who can benefit from what I’ve learnt and continue to learn. I feel that this would benefit me and others enormously. There is a big part of me that is terrified of failure and that’s holding me back. I have to take the plunge and move forward with this project.

This reminds me of my dear friend Sarah Shepherd’s recent article about The Energies of May 2013, where she quoted Patrick Overton, “When you come to the edge of all the light you have, and must take a step into the darkness of the unknown, believe that one of two things will happen. Either there will be something solid for you to stand on or you will be taught how to fly.”

I’m praying to God and the angels to give me the courage to follow through with this project and I’m asking you to pray for me to whichever higher power you believe in and if you don’t believe in anything, please just send me some positive vibes.

I will be running happiness clubs in Ipswich and online. For more information and to register, please email me at and type “I want to learn to love myself” in the subject heading.


*Ho’oponopono will be covered in a future article.

How to Get What You Want – Focus on What You Want

Focus on what you want because what you focus on is what you get. Energy flows where attention goes.  If you focus on problems, you’ll get more problems. Reframe the problem and turn it around. When we focus on our problems we’re focusing on what we don’t want. Think about what you do want and focus on that. For example: What is the problem? My boss is a bitch. What don’t you want? I don’t want my boss to be a bitch. What do you want? I want my boss to be nice to me and treat me with respect. This creates a shift in our thoughts and our vibration. You will find that just by shifting your thoughts from what you don’t want, to what you do want, will make you feel better and you will start to manifest what you do want.

It’s also important to avoid complaining. Complaining is focusing on what you what you don’t want. If you complain that your boss is a bitch, not only will she keep being a bitch, but when you get a new boss and / or a new job, the likelihood is that your new boss will also be a bitch, or the male equivalent. The same goes with relationships and pretty much anything in your life. Another way to reframe a situation or person is to think about the good things about it or them.

I used to work with a guy who really used to piss me off. He was always interfering with my work and trying to tell me how to do my job. He made me feel so angry and we were always at loggerheads. One day, after doing an exercise from “Calling in the One” by Katherine Woodward Thomas, I started to look at the situation differently. I thought about this guy and I realized that he had good motives. He loved his job and he wanted to make sure that things were done correctly. From that day forward our relationship improved dramatically.

Another area that people often complain about or worry about is money. I used to always talk about not having any money and guess what? I never had any. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Now I think about all the great things I have in my life and say thank you for them. I donate to charity even in months when I have a lower income, because I am prosperous  and  there’s plenty in the universe for everyone. When I pay my bills, I bless them with love and give thanks for having a beautiful flat and lots of money to pay my rent and bills. I have an abundance of wonderful things in my life and I count my blessings.

I often hear people say “I can’t get a job because of the economy.”  Turn that around and whenever you find yourself thinking that, say to yourself “that might be true for some but it doesn’t have to be true for me.”


1)      Think of a problem that you have and ask yourself what you don’t want. Then ask yourself what you do want. Every time  you think about the problem, turn it around and focus on what you do want.

2)      Think of a person or a situation that is bothering you. Think of all the good things that you can about that person or situation.

3)      Give to charity every month, even if it’s only £1.

4)      When you pay your bills, bless them with love and be thankful that you have plenty of money to pay them.

Dealing with Depression

I am taking a break from my ‘How to Get What You Want’ series to bring you some tips on dealing with depression, based on my own personal experience. Despite the fact that I have a wonderful life and I practice my spiritual rituals every day, I still get depressed. This usually passes within a day or sometimes even an hour or two.  I sometimes feel like a bit of a hypocrite writing this blog when I have moments of depression, so I thought I would be transparent, write about it and share the techniques that I use to deal with such episodes.

This too shall pass

I know from experience that things always get better and I find it helps to repeat to myself, “This too shall pass.”


I have noticed that I often feel low when I’m tired and that having a nap can work wonders. I get tired and then I can’t be bothered to do anything, so I sit around in my pyjamas watching TV and eating chocolate. I can’t be arsed to go out and have fun or do something constructive. Yesterday I felt like this. I had plans to go out in the evening but I suddenly felt really tired and low. I was going to cancel my plans but instead I had a nap, felt loads better, went out in the evening and had a lot of fun.

Do one small thing

One of the things that causes me to feel low is feeling overwhelmed with too much to do and so I don’t do anything. I usually find that doing one small thing changes my state and gets the momentum going for me to get other things done. This nearly always improves my mood and if it doesn’t this is a great time for acceptance.


It’s good to accept the feelings without judging them or analysing them. I often find my thoughts running away with me at times like this and I experience what is known as ‘analysis paralysis’. When I find my thoughts running away with me, I pray for help to release the obsession and hand over my problems to my higher power. I acknowledge the feelings and release the need to interact with them. If I am feeling low and all I want to do is sit on the sofa and eat chocolate, I know that doing one small thing will help. Sometimes however, even that is too much. In which case I accept that in this moment I can choose to sit on the sofa, watch crap TV and eat chocolate. The secret is to do it without guilt and without beating myself up for it.


A good way to stop the ‘analysis paralysis’ is simply to breathe. Just stop for a few moments and observe your breath going in and out. This will help you to feel more serene and grounded.


I find that playing lively, upbeat music is a great way to change state. If I can gather the enthusiasm to dance and sing or along, then that’s even better.

If you would like to share your own experience of dealing with depression or have any questions, please feel free to comment below.

How to Get What You Want – Detachment, Surrender and Relationships

Deepak Chopra’s sixth spiritual law of success is the law of detachment. I think detachment  is the biggest key to manifesting and it’s the hardest technique to master. Paradoxically, the more attached we are to the outcome of our intention, the harder is to manifest.

We don’t need to know how we will achieve our intentions and focusing on the “cursed hows” as Mike Dooley calls them, delays the outcome. When we start thinking about how we will manifest our desires we get in the way and limit the universe. The universe is much cleverer than us and much cleverer than we often give it credit for. It has often been said that “The Lord works in mysterious ways.” We don’t know exactly how our intention will manifest and we don’t need to know. I once asked the universe for a silver Audi TT using visualistion and I got a silver StreetKa, which could be considered a poor man’s Audi TT. Nevertheless I was extremely pleased with the outcome.

The thing that I wanted the most was a relationship and because I wanted it so badly, it took me a long time to manifest. I kept asking my angel cards for guidance and I kept getting the same card. “Accept Heaven’s Help. You’ve asked for heaven’s help. Now get out of the way and let us help you.” I realised that I was trying too hard and that I kept trying to control and manipulate the situation. I was always thinking about things I could do to attract a guy’s attention. It was a hard habit to break. In the end I got sick and I didn’t have the energy to flirt, let alone manipulate.

I surrendered to God or the universe, or whatever you want to call a higher power. If things didn’t work out with a guy, I shrugged it off and I trusted that the universe had someone or something better in store for me. This wasn’t easy and I still took it hard when things didn’t work out but I kept praying, kept surrendering and kept trusting.

As I started to get better physically and emotionally, I started taking better care of myself. Everyone always says that you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. This always drove me crazy and I always wanted to knock them out. The thing is that we all know that we have to love ourselves but we don’t know how. I was doing a lot of work on myself spiritually and I joined some support groups. I started treating myself how I hoped a lover would treat me. I bought myself some sexy bras and panties. I treated myself to massages and other beauty treatments. I lit candles in the evening. I took sea salt baths with essential oils. I got to the point where I felt really happy and suddenly I realised that it was OK and although I wanted to be in a relationship, I didn’t need one to be happy. Shortly after voicing that thought at one of my support groups I started a relationship. That was in October and I began  a happy relationship with someone that I consider to be one of my soulmates. It is potentially the first healthy relationship I’ve had in my 37 years of life. Unfortunately we split up in March, due to it being a long distance relationship.  I hope that we can find a way to live in the same country and get back together. When things get tough or I miss him, I have to keep remembering to surrender and trust that if it’s meant to be the universe will conspire to make it happen. I don’t need to know how. I just need to trust and if for any reason it doesn’t work out I know that the universe has an even better soulmate relationship lined up for me.

Exercise: Think of a situation in your life right now that is not going according to plan. Take some deep breaths, hand it over to the universe and trust. Repeat this exercise every time you start to obsess or worry.

How to Get What You Want – Setting Intentions

How to Get What You Want – Setting Intentions

Ancient wisdom talks about the law of attraction and it is mentioned in holy writings, including the bible and the Qur’an. Jesus said “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” – Matthew 7:7 and the Qu’ran says, “God promises you … abundance” Quran 2:268 Surat Al-Baqara

In his book The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Deepak Chopra suggests writing a list of intentions and reading that list first thing in the morning, before bed and before meditating. He also recommends carrying that list around with you. I started doing this in November 2011 and within a few months I had manifest a flat, a car, a great job with a high salary, a relationship with someone that I believe to be my soulmate and an abundance of other things.

Once you have set the intentions, release them into the universe and trust. You don’t need to know how your intentions will manifest and the more detached you are from the outcome, the quicker it will come. I will cover detachment in my next blog post.

Exercise: write your own personal list of intentions. Read it first thing in the morning, before bed and before meditating. Carry a copy around with you.

How to Get What you Want – Be Grateful

Every morning I list five things that I’m grateful for. Being grateful moves us from a place of lack to a place of abundance by helping us to focus on all the positive things in our lives. This is a great way to start being happy.

Exercise: Write a list at least five A5 pages long of things that you’re grateful for. Send a message to a family member or friend and let them know how grateful you are for their love and support. After that write a list of five things that you’re grateful for every day before you start work or the day’s activities.

How to Get What You Want – Be Happy

The quickest way to get what you want is to be happy. You may think that you cannot be happy until you have what you want. The paradox is that once you are happy, you will get what you want. Abraham Hicks calls it getting into “The Vortex.” Abraham also calls it raising your vibration. When you raise your vibration and elevate your mood, the universe matches your vibration and sends you what you want. All of the techniques featured in this series of articles will raise your vibration. Other ways to raise your vibration include dancing, singing, laughing, exercising, playing with pets and spending quality time with friends and loved ones.  Basically anything that you find enjoyable and fun will raise your vibration and take you into the vortex.

Exercise: Do at least one activity that you find enjoyable today.

How to Get What You Want

In the last year or so I have become extremely good at getting what I want. People keep asking me how I do it, so I’m planning to write a series of articles about the techniques I use, to teach you how to get what you want.

I believe these techniques work for two reasons. The first is the law of attraction. My understanding of the law of attraction is that like attracts like, what you focus on is what you get and  Thoughts Become Things. This concept was made popular by Abraham Hicks, as well as books and films such as The Secret and What the bleep do we know?. The idea is that our words and thoughts send out vibrations to the universe and the universe responds with the same vibration. The second reason is that what we focus on has an impact on our subconscious mind. When we set an intention that we want something our unconsciously we start seeking ways to achieve that intention. When we set goals and focus on them, our subconscious mind is reminded about those goals. Some would say that the universe brings us creative ideas about how to achieve our goals and intentions.

Many people say that the law of attraction doesn’t work. The law of attraction is always working and we always receive whatever it is that we’re focusing on. The Secret did a great job of taking the law of attraction into the mainstream and bringing it to people’s attention, although in my humble opinion it only skimmed the surface. People are practicing the techniques in The Secret, such as affirmations and visualisation for maybe ten minutes in the morning and then spending the rest of the day worrying and complaining. Worrying and complaining are negative forms of affirmations and focusing on all the negative things in your life will bring more of the same.

As many of you know we experienced a big energy shift in December 2012 and as a result of the new energies coming in, we are manifesting very quickly. This means that it’s imperative that we are aware of what we’re focusing on as we can either manifest good things or bad things in our lives. On a positive note, this means that we can dream big and manifest great things with this energy.

My intention is that through this series of articles you can learn simple tools and techniques to help you focus on what you DO want and attract more of that into your life. So please become a follower of my blog to keep up to date with my latest articles and so that you too can learn how to get what you want.

The Reason Discovered

My horrendously stressful week, mentioned in my previous article, “Mindfulness for Depression”, led me to seriously consider resigning. The following weekend as I contemplated leaving my job, I felt a rising sense of elation, empowerment and relief. I had been thinking of resigning for about six months for various reasons. I liked my job as a recruitment manager but I wasn’t passionate about it. It could be boring and when it wasn’t boring, it was stressful. I kept thinking about leaving but I was reluctant to leave such a lucrative position and every time I made plans to leave I was filled with fear. This time was different; I could feel in my gut that it was time to go.

The final straw was when my car broke down at 10pm in the middle of the country, as I mentioned in my previous article, “If Everything Happens for a Reason…”.  I made the mistake of logging into my work emails on my phone while I was waiting to be rescued and I saw that my favourite  bitch client (I bless her with love) was sending her usual demanding emails. At 11pm. Didn’t she have a life for fuck’s sake?

It was nearly midnight when the Green Flag arrived. I knew that I would need a rest the following morning, so I text my boss to tell that I would be starting work late. He replied that the said client needed us to arrange interviews urgently and he’d already been doing my job for me as I’d “clocked” off at 6pm, so I would have to start on time. I was absolutely furious.

When the guy from the Green Flag eventually turned up, it turned out that I had run out of petrol because my petrol gauge light wasn’t working. He put some in from a petrol can and followed me four miles to the nearest petrol station to make sure I got there safely. How he kept up with me I don’t know. I always drive like a bat out of hell but when I’m angry my driving is like nothing you can imagine. I seethed all the way to the petrol station and all the way home. I was determined to hand in my notice the next day. I finally got into bed and curled up with my hot water bottle at 1am (at least three hours past my bedtime). I was so cold that I left the heating on. It took me ages to warm up. I was chilled to the bone.

I resigned the next day, which was Wednesday, had an interview on Thursday and was offered the position on Friday. I am lucky that I am really good at manifesting and I’m also really good at getting jobs. I managed to get this job despite making a huge bloob at the interview. I do have a habit of making huge bloobs due to spending lots of my time off with the fairies. I once attended an interview where I had to do a psychometric test and the results showed that I am always getting myself into trouble and “situations”, but I usually manage to charm my way out of them, which sounds pretty spot on. Anyway getting back to my huge bloob. I decided to get up nice and early so that I had plenty of time to get ready and arrive at the interview on time, rather than doing everything by the seat of my pants as usual. I was really pleased with myself as I rolled up 20 minutes early at 9.40am.

The receptionist told me that Harmoni were in the Levington room. I went upstairs to the room and I was surprised that there weren’t any other candidates milling around and there were no signs outside the door. Puzzled, I knocked on the door. A lady answered my knock but didn’t give me space to enter. She looked at me expectantly.

“Can you come back in ten minutes?” she whispered.

“Is this Harmoni?” I replied, in the same hushed tones.

“Yes, I’ve just got someone doing a presentation and I’m timing it.”

As I walked away I felt that this was all a bit odd. I went back to the reception and the manager confirmed that yes, Harmoni were definitely in the Levington room.

I went back up the stairs and I noticed coffee and cakes outside the room, so I helped myself and fished out my phone to talk to my friend Areej on whatsap. After a few minutes, the lady came out of the room and asked if she could help me.

“I’m here for the assessment day,” I said, licking the telltale remains of cake from my lips.

She frowned, “I don’t know anything about an assessment day.”

“You are from Harmoni?” I confirmed.

“Yes,” she replied, “but I’m doing train the trainer.”

I wondered if Harmoni had another room booked. I furrowed my brow and as I did so a vision of the confirmation email came into view. “Holiday Inn, London Road.” I realised with horror that I was at the wrong Holiday Inn. It was 9.55 and I had five minutes to get to the correct venue on the other side of Ipswich.

As I hurried back to the car I called the HR department to let them know of my predicament. They didn’t seem unduly bothered. I was concerned. I knew from my experience as a Recruitment Manager that lateness for an interview could automatically exclude you from being offered a job.

Luckily the wrong Holiday Inn was right next to the A14 and so I speed along a couple of junctions to the correct Holiday Inn and arrived at 10.05am. I parked and headed to what I thought was the reception and turned out to be a fire door. Luckily it was open, so I slipped in. The receptionist directed me to sit in the lounge and wait to be called. I sat there for a while and I thought it was odd that nobody called me, especially as it was now well past 10am. I debated whether to go back to the reception. I spotted a guy walking past and I had a feeling that he was from Harmoni. I asked him and he took me to the room where a presentation about Harmoni and the NHS 111 service was taking place.

We had to fill out a great pile of application forms, have a one to one interview, do a role play and a group exercise. I knew I had performed well in all of the exercises but I was concerned that I might be declined due to my lateness or being overqualified.

Anyway, as you know I was offered the position and I started work training as a Health Advisor a week and a half ago. My drop in income means that I can no longer swan around having shellac nails done every two weeks and I’ll have to pluck my own eyebrows, but the trade off is a better quality of life. I feel like a new woman. I am so much happier and my whole body feels more relaxed. I have a certain amount of fear about my finances but I believe that the Divine will take care of me. Life is too short to be in a job where I am unhappy and it’s time for me to follow my heart and pursue my dream of being a writer. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that everything happens for a reason and everything always works out for the best.

If everything happens for a reason …

I broke down in the middle of the country last night. It was cold and dark. Minus two degrees or less. It took Green Flag almost two hours to come and rescue me. When I finally got home Gaby and Charlie were waiting at the top of the stairs, looking at me like disapproving parents. If everything happens for a reason and / or we attract everything into our lives, what is the reason for that?