That’s Why I’m Starting with Me

“If you want to make the world a better place,
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change”
Michael Jackson, Man in the Mirror

As you may know if you’ve been following my blog posts, 2018 was a tough year for me. I started the year with high hopes of setting up my new business “The Happiness Club” and fulfilling my life purpose. All these ambitions were put on hold as I stopped taking my anti-depressants and had a number of relapses of depression. I was also stressed out about money as my income only covered less than two thirds of my expenses.

Finance is one of my “work in progress” areas, along with fulfilling my life purpose and the two are inextricably linked. Ever since I started practicing Buddhism, I’ve been chanting and praying to change my finances or my financial karma as we call it in Buddhism. I’ve made some progress but up until now, always reverted to my old patterns of behaviour.

This summer, in the midst of a depression relapse and worrying about my finances, I became even more determined to combat this once and for all. As I chanted I took full responsibility for my finances and asked myself “what is it in me that is causing me to have these financial difficulties?”

I realised I needed to get a part-time job to at least cover the difference between my income and expenditure. As soon as I took responsibility I felt something shift and within a few days I was offered a part-time job. At first, I felt quite despondent that I had to take what I considered to be a junior job on minimum wage and I felt sure I would hate it. Surprisingly I found that I quite enjoyed it and I realised the importance of focusing on the positive aspects of the job, especially the fact that working part-time means I have plenty of time to spend on my other businesses and fulfilling my life purpose. Also, we have lots of downtime at work, so I can even spend time on those things while I’m working.

I also didn’t think that my small wage would make much of a difference to my life. In reality it is such a huge relief not to be worrying about money every month. I’ve also found that I’m earning more than I anticipated, I’ve received lots of unexpected income, my expenditure has decreased, I’ve been able to increase my debt payments and I’ve got enough left over to spend on myself every month. Abundance creates abundance – more on that in another post.

Emotionally I started to feel better in the autumn, but I didn’t feel ready to start working on my life purpose again. I even started looking for fulltime jobs as I felt resigned to facing the reality that I would have to do what “normal people” do and get a “proper job”.

In December I started to have the feeling that maybe I should climb back on the life purpose wagon, but I still didn’t feel ready. After reading an energy forecast by Sarah Shepherd, I realised that I still needed downtime to rest and regroup.

Mr Sexy Pants took me to London for an overnight stay on December 23rd. We wanted to watch a show, but we discovered that most shows don’t run on a Sunday, so we decided to watch Thriller.  Thriller wouldn’t usually have been our first choice, but I have to say I was blown away. I had forgotten what great songs Michael Jackson performed. I remembered that I had two of his albums as a teenager. Most of all I was reminded of what an inspiration Michael Jackson was. As I watched the cast singing and dancing to “Man in the Mirror” I felt something stir inside me and I knew I was ready to “make a change … that’s why I’m starting with me.”

Which brings me back to taking responsibility. We can blame our circumstances, our unhappy childhood, our parents, our employers, or anyone / anything else but if we want to see positive change in our lives then we have to take responsibility. When we start making changes in our lives and take responsibility it then has a ripple effect on the world around us. We can take responsibility for our own lives and also for the world and planet as a whole. Everything we do can make a difference. It might seem insignificant but if everyone in the world did one small thing, imagine what could happen.

Taking responsibility is very powerful. When I took responsibility for my finances, I felt something shift immediately and I found a solution very quickly. Finances and life purpose are still a work in progress area in my life, but I am taking responsibility, I have already seen improvement in these things and I’m determined to keep making positive changes.

Do you have a personal problem can you take responsibility for in your life? Is there one small action can you take to help the world / planet? What impact would taking those actions have?

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